mosaic moon
Labels:
mosaic moon,
naquillity,
poesaics
·
broken off like ripe flower petals
from a red flower brilliant as
one thousand suns.
her fingers delicate asdried Tenuifoliabreaks medium glass pieces
and places them where
the island stretches off the coast like
reflections inside a sepia afternoon.
your backbone rigid like
the KY mountains you used to climb,
aches as you lean over the vivid canvas.
colors are spinning inside your head
similar to the bicycle
careening down the hill like a child's cartwheels.
my landing isn't as soft asthe smoldering dust but,
i brush off broken glass residue
from my fingers and keep going.
crazy bird its song like sweet nectar
sips through my throatuntil the cement river dries
between the bank's shards.
there- she spun off likewhite milk over a waterfall
and, held his monotonous voice like
like an echo inside my head.my days pass like
a slow summer breeze
while i gaze upon the moon,
broken off like ripe flower petals
from a red flower brilliant as
one thousand suns.
The bold phrases I used are from a prompt given at The Last Piaster.
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1 comment:
tumblewords said...
Nice. The way you brought the first stanza back to the last stanza is interesting. There are some fine phrases in this that cover the hard cast similes.
Friday, February 01, 2008
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OpenID mariacristina said...
This poem is so rich in emotion, narrative, and image.
I love this stanza:
your backbone rigid like
the KY mountains you used to climb,
aches as you lean over the vivid canvas.
colors are spinning inside your head
similar to the bicycle
careening down the hill like a child's cartwheels.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Delete
Blogger paisley said...
you did a great job with this michelle... i think this challenge was well suited to your poetic style,, i on the other hand lean more heavily on the literal,, and found it nearly impossible to integrate the phrases logically....
Saturday, February 02, 2008
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Blogger susan said...
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for participating. Kudos on creating a cohesive story and completing many of the similes beautifully. What tripped me up though was your speaker referring to herself as she and her. I realize the phrases required these pronouns, but maybe you could have written two characters. Or did I misread? This is an early impression and I read several times to get greater understanding.
Do check back tomorrow. I'll talk more about the purpose of the exercise and then we'll move forward.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
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Blogger T.R. said...
Today I post a photo inspired by your moon poem. It does not do it justice. That poem is stunning.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
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Anonymous Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...
This is fascinating, MIchelle.
July 4, 2008 at 9:14 PM
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